Squiffy Planks

The Tale of Squiffy Planks: The Ghost of the Seas

Long ago, there was a pirate unlike any other, known as Squiffy Planks, a name whispered with dread across the Endless Ocean. Originally from the Lost Isles, Squiffy has been roaming the seas ever since. A heavy drinker of absinthe and rum, his very presence carried a haunting aroma of absinthe, blackberry, black currant, and the smoky tang of cedar planks. Squiffy was infamous not just for his ruthless plundering but for his peculiar affinity for walking the plank—be it his enemies or himself.

Over the years, Squiffy walked so many planks, he earned his title as a master of the ritual. Yet, fate was cruel, and during one such walk, he encountered the ferocious jaws of sharks. Another time, the writhing tentacles of a kraken claimed his legs. Despite his harrowing brushes with death, Squiffy always returned, driven by the power of his fabled Sword of the Seas—a blade said to grant its wielder control over the ocean's will and the essence of life itself.

But Squiffy’s luck ran out during his final plank walk, betrayed by his own crew during a raid near Tortuga. A rival pirate wrested the Sword of the Seas from Squiffy’s grasp, leaving him defenseless. The sea claimed Squiffy that day, his body sinking into the depths. Yet, the story did not end there.

Squiffy had consumed so much absinthe, its wormwood coursing through his veins, that when combined with the residual magic of the Sword of the Seas, his death transformed him. He rose again, a spectral figure—a ghastly, legless wraith who glided on an ethereal mist. His newfound form allowed him to haunt the seas, his appearance inducing hallucinations in those who encountered him.

They say his haunting began with a thirst for revenge, targeting ships that dared to sail near Tortuga, where his sword was last seen. Using his ghostly form and his power to conjure vivid, terrifying visions, Squiffy would board vessels, driving their crews to madness. Ships overtaken by him became ghost ships, doomed to roam the seas under his command.

Though legends speak of his final battle near Tortuga, where fleets gathered to end his reign of terror, none can confirm his demise. Some say Squiffy Planks still lingers, drawn to the scent of cedar and rum, searching for his stolen sword. Others claim to hear his haunting laughter in the fog, a chilling reminder of the spectral pirate who defies death itself. And still, there are whispers that he roams the Deadwater Passage by the Isles of the Lost, raising an army of spectrals and commanding a horde of beasts that stalk the nightmares of mere mortals.